Gerds the word

People:
I guess I didn't really tell you why I decided to torture myself and abstain from all things wonderful.  Just kidding, we have been eating really well. But I might go to Arby's after the cleanse just to dirty up the body a little.
Well recently I had a bit of a health situation. I felt like someone was strangling me for about 2 months. But not so much that I couldn't breathe, just enough to really freak me out. It was horrible, horrifying, #thoughtihadcancer kind of health sitch.  I didn't have a doctor in town so I had to go to a doc in the box, and I took two rounds of antibiotics, which I do not like to take, but when a phantom disease monster is strangling you, you are like gimmmmmmmmme gimmmme gimmmeee those drugs. Or at least I was, maybe you're not, but I was.  Well that did not help AT ALL, except to kill everything good and sanctimonious in my body.  So I went to a witch doctor (Naturopath) and she was like you probably have gerd. Which I was like WHAT IS THAT?! That sounds like something someone old or very ill should have. Not me. Yeah I am 31, and I am not as young as I used to be, but I mean I still get carded at bars. Someone who gets carded doesn't have ger.... whatchimacallit.  So she send me to a GI Doctor (Innerworkings doctor) and I had a photoshoot of my esophagus and other bits along the way.  Turns out I do have Esophagitis (inflammation of the esophagus) which I guess some people call GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease), so you can just go around calling me Gerdtrud from now on. Anyway I am trying to give up the things that are tasty and also apparently mean and strangley, like coffee, hot sauce, citrusy things. I thought the cleanse would be a good way to do this and I decided to drag 3 other victims down with me. 

On Day 3, I had a headache and had to take a nap using Walter as a pillow in my office today, but I still feel pretty good over all. Recipes to follow.

So those of you who are keen in mind will notice, it is not really day 3 of the cleanse, but play along.  I will try to whip out the rest of them a little faster.