Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Lost Types of Bitches

Hey Friends,
   I thought I would break my silence with a guest blog. This is a blog from my friend Susie Weller.  We played soccer together in college and got in lots of trouble together.  She actually wrote this a while ago, but I am a huge slacker and have not put it up for no good reason.  This blog is an addition to the list of types of bitches that was found in an elementary school in the DC area.  The list can be found here.  http://andiamnotlying.com/2010/types-of-bitches/  As you can see 44-58 are missing, Susie has filled in that gap.  

Types of Bitches

  1. Cross-eyed bitches
  2. Bitches who you can’t see where they lookin cuz they cross-eyed
  3. Bitches who be leavin their phone, wallet, sunglasses, and coats everywhere
  4. Bitches who be tappin their fingernails on counters
  5. Bitches who be cluckin on the phone in line
  6. Bitches with yappy ass dogs
  7. Rhinestone-iphone carrying bitches
  8. Bitches who be poppin a squat in public
  9. Bitches who always be suckin on blow pops
  10. Bitches who be wearin rompers even tho they know they give ‘em camel toes
  11. Botox bitches
  12. Bitches with baby hands.  
  13. Ugly bitches who stay skinny to make up for it
  14. Flat chested bitches
  15. Big booby bitches
  16. Big booby bitches who look down on flat and medium chested bitches
  17. Dinner plate nipple bitches
  18. Stuffin’ their bras bitches
  19. Unhygienic bitches
  20. Bitches with five heads
  21. Paleolithic lookin’ bitches
  22. Bitches who jealous of me cuz they know I prettier than them
  23. Elusive bitches
  24. Asian bitches who only like things that are miniature
  25. Miniature sized bitches 
  26. Bitches who ain't got no sense of humor and look down on me for writing a list about bitches

My one addition to the types of bitches is  "Adult braces wearing bitches."  
Stay tuned more blogs to come.  I saw David Sedaris last night and I intend to journal and be just like him when I grow up.  
I have you missed you my pretties!
Kitty Diamonds (Bitch who be cluckin' on her phone in line)