Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Original Badass

1.   I would like to apologize for the extreme gaping hole that has been in your life due to my lack of blogging, I will try my best to be better, but I make no promises.
2.   So one of my first blogs was about Country Rock, if you remember, if not go back and read it.  I bring this up because I have decided that I will create a bucket list for Athens, per my friend Mindy’s inspiration. This bucket list will include Country Rock and the bar that I will blog about below. This is obviously a running list.  That is all I have so far. 

So four lesbians walk into a bar… This bar is Mell’s Tavern to be exact, a karaoke bar on the far west side of Athens.  And in this bar are frequenters of Mell’s Tavern. Folks who like to adorn themselves with the confederate flag to augment their southern heritage.  Now I understand this need, but for some reason the confederate flag assaults my eyeballs.  That is all I will say, one time I said too much about this and I made someone cry and I feel real bad about it, so I am keeping it brief. 
Needless to say I was a little nervous walking in with my fellow lady lovers, but we marched on because one of our members is an excellent singer and I love to line dance.  One of the confederate flag shirts has the flag and then the words “The original badass” above it.  Curious as to who this original badass is, I peer at the front of his shirt to read the words, Hank Williams Jr (see below). 

So a little background on Mell’s karaoke choices and the overall ambiance of the bar… As far as choices of songs, every country song ever written in history is available and any pop song written before 1981 is also available.  As far as the layout of the bar goes, there are some pool tables on the far side, a bar and then the karaoke room, where there sits the karaoke master, with his cowboy hat and regulation size belt buckle, a few tables, a cleared area for dancing and two “stripper” poles. 

Back to the story, we get our pitcher of bud light and start browsing the song list. Our resident karaeoker picks a few songs, I boogie down to the cupid shuffle with the locals.  So we are now welcome participants in the fun.  One woman, a rural housewife if you will, sits down at our table and tells us she is tired because she has 7 kids at home, so she is sorry but she doesn’t think she has seen us in here before.  Sweet lady, so we introduce ourselves. 

You shook me all night long was chosen by two of our party and the crowd went wild.  It seemed like all the bar came to the dance floor, and the poles were an integral part of the dancing.  In fact I am pretty sure one of the poles got pregnant. 

As the night progresses a particularly intoxicated young gentleman attempts to dance with each one of us unsuccessfully.  After four declines, his friend comes over and lets us know he is going to lose twenty bucks if one of us doesn’t dance with him.  So I kindly tell him, if he gives me that twenty dollars, I would love to dance with his friend.  I pocket the twenty, dance with his friend, and cell phones surface for photographic evidence. 

After the dance we all sit back down, and the sir who paid me 20 bucks, came to the table to let us know that we could dance with each other if we wanted to.  Which I thought was very sweet that he let us know it was cool.  So we do and cell phones surface for photographic evidence once again.  I haven’t tried youtubing Lesbians in Mell’s, but we might be famous. 

Slowly the night comes to an end and the last few karaoke itches were scratched.

As we headed to parking lot, our new friend yelled to us “I too like vagina!”

Nothing like a common bond to bring different walks of life together.  Thank you Mell’s for a memorable and accepting evening.  Maybe now the confederate flag will be a little less offensive to my eyes.