Lots. Now don’t get me wrong, the sleeveless turtleneck had its hayday in my closet in the 90s along with velour button down shirts and bell-bottom jeans. But…… I don’t own or wear them anymore. I actually am really ashamed that I ever donned the sleeveless turtleneck (SLTN) mostly for its unbelievable impracticality. There is a website called things that white people like. On this list is wearing scarves in the summer. I agree that this could be impractical, but lets discuss the difference between a scarf and a sleeveless turtleneck. You can remove the scarf when you get too warm, but when you get too warm wearing your sleeveless turtleneck you CAN’T remove it.
Ok on to the dickey. If you are not familiar with the dickey, watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. The dickey is prominently featured. Let me just preface this I do not own a dickey and I probably will never own a dickey, but the dickey holds a special place in my heart. Similar to the scarf, unlike the SLTN the dickey can be removed.
Moral of the story….
If you own a sleeveless turtleneck
- Do not wear it
- Donate it
- Use it to wash your car
- DO NOT bring it to a clothing swap to tempt someone else into taking it
If you do not own a sleeveless turtleneck.
- DO NOT under any circumstances buy a sleeveless turtleneck or circum to the temptation of trying one on at a store or at a clothing swap
- Host an ugly Christmas sweater party (also things that white people like)
- Never get rid of it
- Consider wearing just the dickey to casual Friday at work.
If you don’t own a dickey
- Get one